tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want a musical about memes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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