I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
