I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
