I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
