I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
