are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Randomize
