Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
