They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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