it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
