6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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