But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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