dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
