I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
