So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
