So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
