what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
