just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
