Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
