took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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