A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
