people are starting to question the shark bite story
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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