Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You work out of a Hotel?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
