I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
