You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
