I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
