I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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