I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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