a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
