i just google imaged poop.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
