He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
