Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
