p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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