haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
