half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
