I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
