i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
