oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
