Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
