ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
