Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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