oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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