I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
