ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
