Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My balls are so social today.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
