My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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