I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
