Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
