my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
