Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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