Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
