I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
