hell yes lets make some ravioli
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
