What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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